"Heehee... It was around the time I turned nine when I met Young Master like that."
"Yeah... I was eight then, so it's been exactly ten years."
Rachel was sitting behind me, gently stroking my hair.
It felt strange seeing Rachel, who usually had a boisterous and cheerful image, being so gentle.
Every time her slender fingers touched my hair, a warm sense of security enveloped my entire body.
It was like a melting feeling.
I think I understood a little why Ariel purred whenever I petted her.
"For the past ten years... I've lived a life like a dream."
"......"
"A soft bed for the first time, warm meals, a cozy home, and kind people."
Rachel took her hand away from my hair and turned my body so that we were facing each other.
Her brown eyes, devoid of even a hint of tremor, stared at me intently.
That gaze, full of sincerity, represented the girl's true feelings.
"You wouldn't know, Young Master. The hand you extended to me back then......"
The girl smiled bashfully and tightly grasped the boy's hand.
Just like the boy had done for her on that day, ten years ago.
"What it meant to my life."
Rachel smiled bashfully, a pure white innocence blooming on her lips.
I stared blankly at the scene, biting my lip hard.
If I relaxed even a little, it felt like unsightly emotions would come pouring out.
"I know."
It was strange.
I thought I had become numb to sadness.
Tears that hadn't flowed even in the face of terrible loneliness, depression, and misfortune,
"That Young Master is a good person."
Why were they trying to burst out now?
I tried to maintain a distorted expression, forcing my eyes to stay dry.
But unfortunately,
"Young Master, you're not a bad person."
Her words broke me down.
A lukewarm line traced down my cold cheek.
Along with it, a pathetic, ugly sob escaped my throat.
The well of tears that had been standing alone burst open like a dam, gushing out uncontrollably.
"Sob... Ugh, sniff..."
The girl said it.
That I wasn't a bad person.
Maybe those were the words that Raiden and I had wanted to hear the most.
-It's all my fault.
-If it weren't for me.
-Everyone could have been happy...
Self-loathing deeply rooted in our hearts.
We hated ourselves more than anyone else in the world.
We had lived our lives believing that every misfortune around us was our fault.
"Don't hold back your tears. It's okay to cry."
But Rachel,
you're saying those words as if it's the most natural thing in the world.
You're instantly negating the guilt we've carried for a lifetime.
"I don't know how much strength my words can give you, Young Master, but know this much."
Rachel gently wiped away the tears that had stained my cheeks.
A grateful warmth melted the frozen skin.
The girl whispered in my ear, her voice soft and steady.
"I'm always on your side."
Even if you treat me poorly.
Even if you leave without a word.
Even if the whole world hates you.
"I promise to always be by your side."
Rachel said, giving me her usual innocent smile.
Unable to stop crying at her bright smile,
I couldn't hold back the tears until I finally fell asleep from exhaustion.
***
Rachel looked down at her Young Master, who had fallen asleep quietly.
-Shhh... Shhh...
The boy, exhausted from crying, was breathing softly with his eyes closed.
The girl gently raised her hand and stroked his cheek.
His eyes were red and swollen.
Seeing that, Rachel felt a pang in her heart.
"......Poor thing."
The girl knew all the truth.
Why the boy, who used to shine so brightly, had become corrupted.
Why he wore the mask of a delinquent.
That he secretly cried every night, locked in his mother's study.
Everything.
"......"
The girl's vision blurred.
Thanks to the boy, she had learned what warmth was.
Thanks to the boy, she had learned how to live together with others.
Thanks to the boy, she had been able to escape her misfortune.
Thanks to the boy.
She had come to love the world she used to hate.
"Young Master..."
Seeing the person who had saved her struggling in misery was not a pleasant sight.
As her heart ached, Rachel clutched her chest with her remaining hand.
She wished he wasn't hurting.
She wished he, who had saved her, wasn't hated.
-Rachel... Do you hate me too...?
When the boy had asked that question earlier, the girl felt as if a dagger had pierced her heart.
He was a boy who rarely showed his pain, no matter how difficult things got.
For him to ask such a direct question, he must have been feeling incredibly overwhelmed.
The girl murmured to herself.
'No, Young Master.'
I don't hate you.
Ever since the day you saved me, I decided to live only for you.
I respect you, I follow you.
And......
'......I love you deeply.'
A single tear rolled down the girl's hand.
To harbor such impure feelings for her master, it was a moment that questioned her qualifications as a maid.
But it was okay.
Because this was a feeling she would keep hidden forever.
A feeling she would bury deep in her heart, where no one would ever find it.
Rachel knew.
If there was a woman who could make Young Master happy,
it couldn't be her.
She was a weed of misfortune that had grown up feeding on his happiness.
Even though she had escaped her previous life in the gutter, the scars of misfortune still remained in her heart.
There was no way someone like her could make Young Master happy.
Rachel didn't covet Young Master's love.
She simply wished for his true happiness.
So, she wiped away her tears and clasped her hands together firmly.
And she prayed.
That someone would save Young Master.
That someone would reach out to Young Master, who was drowning in misery.
That someone would make Young Master happy.
The once unfortunate girl prayed for the unfortunate boy.
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damn who ordered the onion soup with extra feels... i mean onions
ReplyDeleteDamn onion ninjas
DeleteRachel best girl
ReplyDeleteThanks for the chapter
ReplyDeleteOhh damm this good
ReplyDeleteFINALLY SOMEONE ACTUALLY REACHING FOR RAIDEN!! All those people around him acting like they're the victim of Raiden and saying he's changed whatsoever, no one, I mean literally NO ONE actually reaching to help him like what Rachel do in this chapter, including his sister.
ReplyDeleteA depressed person need someone to reach them. They depressed because they think that what they see in front of them are only misfortunes and it will keep being like that until they died. No one teaching them that they actually have choice and life is much wider than they think of.
They need someone, someone who reach out like Rachel and not just superficial love like his sister, lucy or even his ex-fiance who only ever get loved from him and not reaching him back when he really needed
Dont know why I feel like crying after reading this
ReplyDeleteYeah nvm Rachel still best girl
ReplyDeleteRACHEL BEST GIRL
ReplyDeletei ship
ReplyDeleteSo she knew he was faking his delinquency, but didn't tell his family after he disappeared?
ReplyDeleteIf Rachel isn't the FL or if she dies, I'm gonna rebel!!
ReplyDeleteIf not Rachel, who else can save him? Haven't really seen any capable ones
ReplyDeletebro.... I am in public space bro.....
ReplyDeleteI want a Rachel
ReplyDeleteRachel if im the MC in my deppression stage, I would have been so loyal to you, any other girls would just elevate to friends, but more than that rachel is the only one who will be the one in this life.
ReplyDeleteInshort: Rachel best girl and I hope MC only chooses her.