I was momentarily at a loss for words.
I knew she would eventually leave.
I knew she was here temporarily to work for her dream.
I thought it didn't matter since she was never a part of my life to begin with.
But now, faced with the reality of parting, I feel a sudden surge of emotion.
Actually, it’s more complicated than that.
I can’t quite explain it.
Monica, wiping her mouth, said,
“The factory construction will be finished in a month. Then I’ll go back to fulfill my real dream.”
Monica looks at me and smiles.
“Like the painting you made, Ban. I’ll change my village that way.”
“................”
“Right, Ban?”
“................”
Strange, why can’t I speak?
I should be encouraging her, telling her she’ll do well.
But my mouth is clamped shut like a clam, unable to utter a word.
Minyoung, observing me in silence and confusion, leans on her hand and chuckles.
"Our class's artist seems a bit upset."
"...................................."
Monica, unaware of what's going on inside me, speaks happily, thinking that there's someone who's sad about parting ways.
"Wow, that's something to be grateful for."
I'm still unable to say anything, just looking at Monica's face.
I don't feel romantic emotions towards Monica right now.
It's indescribable gratitude and regret. That's the source of my emotions.
Will I miss Monica's beautiful smile when I can't see it anymore? Do I long for her? I'm not sure yet. She's someone I'm grateful to for giving me so many opportunities. Someday, I'll be able to repay this kindness. And when that time comes, I'll do my best.
Minyoung, leaning on her hand and smiling, signals with her eyes.
"It might be better to speak before you start crying."
Huh? Who's crying? I'm not crying. It's just something in my eye.
Damn it, don't flow. If I cry here, I'll end up kicking my blankets at home.
I turn my tear-brimmed eyes to the ceiling, desperately holding back tears. Monica's sweet voice reaches my ears.
"How about going to Italy with me, Ban?"
Huh? What did I just hear?
Startled, I look down at Monica, and at that moment, the tears I'd been holding back stream down my cheeks.
Then Monica bursts into laughter and wipes my tears with a napkin.
"Oh my! Were you that upset, Ban?"
"No, no! It's not like that. Something got in my eye!"
"Oh, sure. Enough with the excuses, just wipe your nose."
Damn, I'm so embarrassed. What a humiliation. What a fool.
Wait, the thing about going to Italy, that's a joke, right?
I quickly wipe my tears and say,
"It's nice of you to offer, but I can't leave my position at the company, haha."
I say it trying to sound mature. I know you're joking, don't tease me, I thought, putting up a defensive mechanism. Then Monica laughs.
"I know you're a CEO."
Huh? What? It wasn't a joke?
My eyes widen in surprise, and Monica, erasing her smile, says,
"I'm making a business proposal to the head of Artist Company."
I have something to do in Italy?
"What is it?"
Monica smiles, lifting her lips.
"My first store is opening in Milan. Will you design it for me?"
"...................................."
Oh my god, not only am I going to Milan, Italy, but I'll also be designing a store there? Is this a dream?
Speechless, I just keep looking at Monica's face. She scrapes her plate with a fork and says,
"Of course, we'll take care of all the necessary expenses."
Wow, so it's not a joke if it's come this far.
But can I really leave my position? What about the company?
Seeing my worried expression, Monica says,
"Don't feel too burdened. Nobody understands the heart of someone starting a new company better than me. It's okay to refuse, just think about it, okay?"
"...................................."
I couldn't respond until the end of our meal that day.
**
The next day, at a Hongdae beef intestine restaurant.
I pour Youngju a shot of soju after frying some juicy intestines, sizzling on the grill.
"It's not possible, right? It won't work. Ah, I shouldn't have said anything. Just forget it, forget!"
Ha, I spent the whole day at my desk pondering Monica's words, feeling suffocated, and ended up dragging Youngju out for a drink after work. Feeling guilty for always eating in Paju, I came near Youngju's place in Seoul to our usual Hongdae beef intestine restaurant, where I told her about Monica's proposal.
To be honest, it was more like talking to myself than discussing it. I talked and came to a conclusion all by myself.
While shaking his glass for more soju, Youngju frowned upon hearing my words.
"Are you crazy?"
"Right? I think so too. It's a bit much for me to leave my position now."
"No, you idiot. Not that."
"Huh?"
Youngju glares at me, then downs his soju and goes to refill both our glasses.
"Dude, what did you do at work today?"
"...................................."
I didn't do anything. Or rather, I couldn't.
Every time I tried to do something, I just thought of Monica's proposal.
"Sorry."
"No, dude. I'm not scolding you for not doing anything."
"Then what?"
Youngju, pouring the drink, says,
“Dude, you’re normally the type who doesn’t do anything anyway.”
“.....................................”
“The world goes on just fine without you, that’s our company for you, you maniac.”
“..............................”
“You’re our company's face. What's the face? It’s about meeting people, shaking hands, building credentials. You’re the person we mention when doing business, saying our CEO is this impressive guy, you might have heard of him.”
Hmm, I get that, but aren’t you being too direct?
I made a 'T' with my hands and asked her,
“Are you by any chance a T?” [T/N: oversimplified but T is essentially analytical, logical, rational while F is more emotional.]
“Obviously a T.”
Youngju shows her middle finger and says,
“And what about you? Are you an F?”
“I’m a T too.”
“You’re not acting like a T, why are you dragging this out? Go. I'm here to hold the fort.”
“........................”
Youngju looks at me sideways and says,
“Honestly, you really want to go, right?”
I do want to go. I’ve never been abroad before. Plus, the destination is Italy, the city of art. How could I not want to go?
Seeing my expression, Youngju smirks and holds out her glass,
“Bring back one line to add to your business card. That’s enough for your job.”
“... Thanks.”
“If you’re grateful, raise my salary.”
“Really? How much?”
“Shut up, damn it. Ever since you became CEO, you’ve been too scared to spend money.”
Youngju hits me on the head, but I can’t help but laugh.
Henri, are you watching? My friend is still by my side.
Still my biggest lifesaver. You must have such a friend too.
I rubbed my head, not even hurting, and shouted,
“Then I’m going! Should I go? I’m really going!”
“Go! Just leave, damn it, the company is mine now, muahaha!”
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