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Chapter 32 Part 1 - A Depressed Kendo Player Possesses a Bastard Aristocrat

Don't worry, Mom. This time I will be truly happy. DBT,Korean,Novel,Translation,Academy,DKPBA,Fantasy,Possession,DepressionBonus chapter thanks to @Joe Smith for subscription to 'Blink' tier on Ko-fi.

The Mirror

I returned to the dormitory, filled with a deep sense of fatigue.

As soon as I stepped into my room, I loosened the tie that had been choking me.

I took off my coat and headed towards the bathroom.

"I'm going to wash up. Please prepare my pajamas, Rachel."

Rachel, who was taking my coat from me, tilted her head and asked,

"It's still early... are you going to sleep already?"

"Yeah... I'm a little tired..."

"Alright."

"......Thank you always."

"Heehee, you're welcome!"

I expressed my sincere gratitude to the hardworking Rachel and pushed myself into the pure white bathroom.

As I opened the door and stepped inside, the first thing that caught my eye was a large mirror.

And beyond it, a boy stood.

His black hair was incredibly depressing.

His black eyes were terrifyingly deep.

An awkward smile was stitched onto his lips like a patchwork quilt.

He wasn't dead, but

he wasn't quite alive either.

He was a boy I didn't know.

-Click, whoosh...

I pulled the lever connected to the magical tool, and cold water began to pour down from above.

I closed my eyes quietly and felt the weight of the cascading water droplets.

The cold lines struck my body relentlessly.

The chill, like a persistent bad thought, burrowed into my skin, devouring the warmth.

It resembled the voices that had pierced my heart like daggers.

-Hey, honestly, aren't you a little pissed that he's on the national team?

-What can you do? He's the son of the association president.

-Damn it... I'm so jealous of his connections.

Past hallucinations echoed in my dizzy head.

The daggers that had been aimed at me in my previous life rolled down my ears.

-I'm sorry, Naru... Please don't talk to me anymore.

-Get lost...! It's your fault Changho oppa...!!

-Countless people have ruined their lives by being nice to him...

In the midst of the noisy, biting rain of water, I washed my body.

I scrubbed the towel roughly, as if trying to peel off my skin.

Despite this, the soft foam that rose up enveloped me in a comforting embrace.

I swam in that illusory cloud.

-Move faster! More! More!

-To be tired from this much... How disappointing.

-You piece of trash.

Behind the voices that pounded my eardrums,

the voices I had heard at the Academy today mixed in.

-Eek...!

-Hey, hey, quick...! Let's get out of here...!

-Don't make eye contact...!

Familiar lines were now staring at me, taking shape.

I knelt down, as if crushed by their heavy gazes.

And with trembling lips, I stammered,

"What... did I do wrong..."

What did I do wrong to make you hate me so much?

Was it my fault for shamelessly hoping for love, even though I was born with a fate of ugly misfortune?

Am I... really someone who shouldn't dream of happiness?

-Scrub, scrub, scrub, scrub!

The towel moved as if it were trying to peel off all the skin from my body.

My skin was already flushed red.

But instead of stopping, I put even more force into scrubbing, scratching at my flesh.

I felt like if I scrubbed myself clean like this,

I could tear away all the misfortune clinging to me.

As I continued to torment myself for a while, a young boy's voice suddenly reached my ears.

"You're pathetic."

The owner of that mocking voice was me, standing in the mirror.

Or maybe it was me, standing outside the mirror.

"You brought this all upon yourself."

I was looking at myself with the expression I hated the most.

A wave of nausea washed over me, forcing me to lower my head.

"Everyone says... you shouldn't be alive."

"No, no... no...!!"

"You think so too, don't you?"

"No, I don't...!!"

"Hahahaha!! Really!?"

I let out a disgusting laugh, my lips stretching to my ears.

The humiliation it brought made me unable to control the boiling murderous intent within me.

I knocked down the me in the mirror and, straddling his body, began to strangle his hateful neck.

"You... what do you know...!!"

"I know everything~"

Even though I was squeezing with all my might, the me in the mirror smiled leisurely.

Words dyed in pitch black pierced my heart.

"You."

"I."

"Hate yourself."

"Hate myself."

The next moment, our positions reversed.

I was lying face down on the bathroom floor, and the me in the mirror was on top of me, brutally strangling my neck.

His black eyes, filled with madness, seemed to be enjoying this situation.

"Die. Just die like this."

"G-Gah... N-No..."

"Die!! Die, I said!!!"

"H-Help... Help me, please..."

"Die!! Don't live so shamelessly!!! Someone... s-save me... Die! Die, die, die!! Stop it... I can't... breathe..."

Just before my neck could snap, the thing that stopped me was

-Ding!

[The skill 'Iron Will' nullifies the status effects (hallucinations, auditory hallucinations, trauma, suicidal urges, depression... and 5 others).]

None other than the status window.

"Cough! Gasp... Gasp..."

I released my grip on my own neck and gasped for air.

As I spat out the water that had filled my mouth, a red stain splattered on the bathroom tiles.

Blood was dripping from my lips, as if they had been split open.

I wiped it away and struggled to get up.

With the hallucinations gone, only the echoes that I couldn't erase lingered in my empty mind.

-Click...

I turned off the water lever and wiped myself dry with a towel.

I carefully cleaned the bloodstains from my lips, making sure they were invisible.

As I busied myself cleaning up, the mirror caught my eye again.

"......"

A boy still stood in the mirror.

And he was still a boy I didn't know.

.


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17 Comments

  1. Thanks for the chapter

    Author trying to portray MC as a pitiful character? It's looking pathetic now

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is what depression and trauma do to you.

      Delete
    2. Lol dude forgot to read the title of the novel before reading

      Delete
    3. Huh? First of all, read the title. Second of all, no. The author probably trying to express what depression can do to the MC, and perhaps to others in our life. People could said like what you've said, they're pathetic without knowing how painful depression can be.

      If you know someone who got depressed and you said the same thing to them, I want you to remember that you've inflicted them pain that couldn't be healed for their life. What you should do is to help them sincerely, show them that life is much wider than they could think of.

      Or if you don't want to help, the least you can do is to shut your useless mouth and keep on your pathetic life.

      Delete
    4. braindead comment, holy shit

      Delete
    5. I know you like to get abushed but please keep your masochist fetish to yourself without hurting other.

      Delete
  2. Wow author really showed what a depressed person looks like

    ReplyDelete
  3. Some of the comments on this novel got be thinking like "damn, people really hate dealing with depressed people even in a novel" 💀😭

    ReplyDelete
  4. Why do I feel like the MC's (Kim Naru) father was punishing his son for his wife's death??
    If I remember correctly MC's mother died due to struck crashing into her and the mc was there as well...

    ReplyDelete
  5. Rather than overcoming his trauma, I feel like it's getting worse.....

    ReplyDelete
  6. Saying this again...these traumas are kinda disrupting theflow

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. genuine question. how is this disrupting the flow? An arc just ended and we are looking at the aftermath of said arc. Its a time in the novel to analyze the impact of the previous arc and the effects it has on the mc and the surrounding characters. To me this seems like normal ass writing. Also the point of the series is following the story of a depressed person. Trauma, self-hate, delusions, and increased emotions that may or may not be rooted in reality are all symptoms of a depressed person and, in this story, we are following the mc's trials experiencing that. in my opinion, the traumas are the flow.

      Delete
  7. i was really afraid he was actually hurting Rachel in his hallucination... makes me think he's schizophrenic

    ReplyDelete
  8. sad that there's so many classic junk reader comments that don't know what the difference is between truly good authorship and dogshit crap webnovels that express leveling up in one chapter and have no appreciation for character development. Please keep your comments to yourselves or just stop reading if you don't appreciate the author's work. Thanks.

    ReplyDelete